Lost in a world of sex

Something that has stared me in the face time and time again through conversations, my own thought process, and living life is relationships between men and women. Now being raised in the church, where this subject is very controversial, I always believed this: relationships are to find a spouse, there is one person that God has made for you, sex should never be thought about or discussed in any context, sex outside of marriage was bad, and marriage should last a lifetime. While I agree with some of these statements, I can't help but question its authenticity. Does the church have a distorted view of relationships and sex? If it does then what was Gods true intent for us when it came to relationships?

As an American, I have been raised in one of the biggest cultures that revolves itself around sex and relationships. Sex is everywhere you turn; in music, TV, advertisements, magazines, books, video games, movies, in humor, government, schools, the mall, grocery stores, on the internet, and every other source of media that you can possibly think of. Sex is seen as something that is fun and should be experienced in many forms and ways. Relationships are just ways to "try someone out" before a real commitment. Sex and relationships no longer have any boundaries and everything is viewed as right in the spotlight of the media. Its described now as art that should be looked upon by everyone. No longer is it wrong to watch pornography because its just a way to learn or just another way of entertainment. It is now a good thing to talk about sex even in the most raunchy context even if degrading to both male and female. The only funny jokes are about sex or being tied down by a relationship or marriage. This is the world I have grown up in and have been influenced by just like every other American living in these modern times. We are are consumed by these ideas while trying to walk aimlessly in a world of sex.

It's hard to believe that there is so little knowledge of these matters left in the world. The church want's to know nothing about sex while trying to apply modern culture to the Bible, while the media and world miss the concept all together. We are now living in a world were we are bound by these ideas. We accept them and know them as good but yet our hearts and souls cry out for something more, for true meaning. Show me where justice and freedom is in any of this. The more I think about it, the more conflict arises inside of me. What was God's true intent of relationships, of marriage, sex. Why have we come to the place we are at? There are so many questions left unanswered.

When thinking about the churches view of sex and relationships, there are a couple of things I agree with fully. One is that sex was created to be a beautiful, sacred thing shared between a husband and wife. The bond that sex creates between two people is so much stronger when kept sacred and "holy". When not kept in a marriage, sex becomes something that is fun and enjoyable. It's no longer sacred, it's no longer beautiful. Our hearts become shallow and there is no longer a satisfaction in our hearts.
The second thing I agree with is that marriage should last a lifetime. Marriage too is something that should be kept sacred. I mean, you are making a life long promise when you say your vows right. Or do most people have there fingers crossed? Marriage is one of the most amazing things ever. Two people, uniting as one, to share life together, to start a family together. It's a big deal.

The things I find wrong with the church and its view on sex and relationships is that sex is something that should be talked and thought about. With the media's view of sex always in our faces, I think its very important that we, as the church, should talk about sex in a Godly manner as well as raise our children to understand sex and marriage in a biblical scene before the media gets to them first. It's not wrong to talk about sex. There's a whole book in the bible written about it. If we are not influencing ourselves with the right stuff then it will defiantly be the bad that is our main influence.

When it comes to relationships, the church always promotes the idea of finding the one person that God made for you and that its important to date to find that person. Now this idea can and sometimes does lead to the thought that in finding this person the relationship and marriage will be perfect or at least have a perfect , everlasting love. I cannot believe in this concept at all. Because we are humans who are sinful, our relationships with each other have forever been cursed. Therefor, there is no way that you could always love someone or should I say, have feelings of love for someone. It's impossible! How could have those feelings for another person for the rest of your life. There are times in my life were I have feelings of disgust and jealousy toward people that I am very close to and all my feelings of love fade away. Sometimes I even draw back my feelings of love from God become of bitterness or distraction in my heart. So with this said there is no way that there is just one person out there for each of us because love is a choice. It is very possible to choose to love someone every day for your whole life. How? Love is so much more than a feeling. Even when my feelings of love slip away from me I will always love my mother and father, brother and sister, aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, and friends. This mean that when it comes to a marriage, love is something you have to chose deep in your heart. This doesn't mean that a person can or should marry anyone. It just means that maybe out of all the women in the world (or men in the world in a woman's case) the one you choose is the right one for you. When there is a bigger choice, there is a greater love.

Even though i speak very strongly about is idea I do not claim it to be the right thing or the only thing. At this time this seems to make the most sense to me.

I have talked to many of my friends lately about dating relationships (this is something that is very normal in our culture and I by no means think its wrong in any way to date some one), but after hearing other people talk about the same ideas that the church has about dating and marriage, I can't help but question the authenticity of dating. Maybe dating isn't the way we should approach marriage. Dating is something that isn't even biblical. This idea has only been something practiced in about the last 80 years, and since then divorce rates have increased along with non marital relationships. Dating has seemed to have relaxed the standers of marriage. Maybe we should go back the ways things were when people would marry someone they hardly knew. Perhaps we should try something new all together. I'm not entirely sure on what to do. All I know is that we live in a time where we are all amateur lovers lost in a world of sex, trying to figure out whats right, what will bring the most meaning to our lives.